Chocolate Covered Conversation

It’s the same old setting, a few of us sit in different spots around the dimmed bedroom.  We start talking about random things yet it all comes together when my friend Alyssa states, “Man I love these chocolate oranges”. My first reaction was that of disgust, however it morphed into jealousy when I found out that the orange part merely described the shape. “That sounds so good.” Barker erupts and the conversation quickly becomes innocent and delightful. I change all of that by simply asking, “What other food would be gross covered in chocolate?” A small amount of time goes by and then suddenly, “Chocolate covered, scorpions.” Is expelled from Alyssa’s mouth. Barker and I while looking at each other start shaking our heads in disbelief. In almost perfect unison we shout, “scorpions are not considered food.” However, it does little good, Alyssa slowly slips into madness and ultimately decides to remain indifferent to the rules of the conversation.

Both Barker and I start throwing out ideas like chocolate covered pizza, or chocolate covered peanut butter, jelly, ketchup, and mustard sandwiches. The latter being a concoction from my childhood but we won't venture into that closet. Some time goes by and Alyssa appears to finally be getting the concept and contributes with, chocolate covered oysters and anchovies. I'm ecstatic, both are gross and perfectly fitting to the topic at hand. However, my new found faith is short lived, because the next phrase out of her mouth is literally, “Chocolate covered feces”. I start shaking my head as barker tries to explain the finer points and rules of our conversation to her. At this point all seems lost, i’ve lost interest entirely. I am merely content to play with Alyssa’s cat who up to this point had been chasing imaginary objects into actual objects. "Great!" I thought. Normally this would merit a head shaking and a small sigh but at this point I just tell myself, “Fuck it! At least this doesn't involve chocolate covered scorpions or feces.”